A glimpse into the life of HOMEpdx…Anabeth
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Today at church I listened to a man in his 30s tell me about a girl he is concerned about- someone who is in their early 20s and living on the street. She’s been constantly bothered by men who want to use her for porn films and prostitution. He is concerned about her but doesn’t want to get too involved because of the girl’s ‘boyfriend’ who sounds more like a pimp… He wanted me to see what I could do to help her. He told me that I look a little bit like her. I feel helpless because I don’t know what to do. I listened to him, told him thank you for telling me, and that I don’t know what to do to help… I feel bad for her and the situation. He repeats his story in earnest- talking in circles s if he’s on a drug or has a mental disability. He seems so honest and concerned and just like he needed someone to talk to.
What can I do? I feel a little helpless. All that I can do is listen. I need some more education on resources…
Why do people tell me that I look like someone they know on the street? How and why am I in the position that I am in life- why did God place me in the position I am in- why do I take things for granted?
Then I go and talk w/ my friend who I will call George. He is in his fifties. George has been coming to HOMEpdx off and on for almost three years. When I first met him, he lived in a dumpster. Now he lives in a field. He told me that a week or so ago it was raining and so he moved his gear under a tree to try to get out of the rain. He said he woke up in the middle of the night to find large rats crawling on him, eating his bread that he was going to be eating the next day…. He tried to make light of the situation when he was telling me the story… trying to crack a joke about it… I just listened and attempted a smile when he told the joke. I just kept interacting with him, trying to show him through my facial expressions that I care and that he matters. He told me that he missed me last week. I told him I was camping and hiking. He told me that he camps every day. He asked me how I’ve been since we had talked last and I told him that I had found an apartment and how that was a stress relief for me. He said, “That’s a stress relief for me too. I was afraid that you weren’t going to find anything and that you were gonna become homeless too. Being homeless is just awful.”
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How and why can/do my friends who live outdoors worry about me? My friend Ray has told me before that I give him hope and that HOMEpdx gives him hope to continue on in life. How can my friends worry about me when they have things like rats to think about eating their bread??? I suppose having to live in a field is a better place than living in a dumpster. I don’t have to worry about these things. I don’t have to worry about my survival. I sit here typing on my boyfriends laptop. Crying because I can’t believe the words in the story are real. Crying for my friends situation. My boyfriend is watching football. I want to throw the TV. I can live in comfort while my friends live in squalor. Why is this?
No one should have to worry about rats crawling on them while they sleep. And yet that is how so many in this world live.
I continue to go to HOMEpdx because somehow in the messiness of it all, I find beauty, I find life. HOMEpdx is my church. HOMEpdx is like my family. I go and I listen and I try to love with all of my energy. That’s all I feel like I can do sometimes. I don’t like feeling helpless and powerless in the face of the problems my friends face. That is why I go to City Hall, to advocate for my friends so that maybe one day they won’t have to worry about where they are going to sleep. Maybe one day they won’t have to worry about rats crawling on them, or police moving them constantly along. It is a shame that my friends in this city are treated like it is illegal to be living on the street. I am grateful for the help that is available, but I want to see services that affirm people’s dignity, offer unconditional love and hope, and services that don’t assist the continuation of the cycle of poverty.
I want to see my friend George, and those like him, permanently off the street. And I want to see my friends not have to worry about sleeping outdoors this winter.
I don’t know what else to say. Thank you for listening to my thoughts.
tamara colpitts 10/2/09 1:46 PM |
Annabeth I love your heart and your passion…. I love you!!!!!!