Jessica’s friend
Not long after Jordan and I moved back to Portland I was downtown on a Sunday and met a very kind, quiet guy who had been a part of the HOMEPDX community long before Jordan and I had moved back into town. This guy who I will call “John” looks like he is close to my dads age and because of his shy disposition it took quite awhile for us to get to talking. In early December “John” heard me say that I had lived San Antonio, he quickly approached me and talked about how he had spent a lot of his life in Texas. “John” grew up a military brat and settled in San Antonio for quite a while.
This small similarity that “John” and I shared created a foundation for us to build a friendship on. It is easy for us to hide behind the belief that we have nothing in common with others. We stay comfortable believing that we have too many differences to actually sit at the same table and share conversations together, but that belief is simply not true and I am reminded of this when I think of my friendship with “John” that has grown over the past year.
John has lived outside for a few years now and it would be easy for anyone of us to make assumptions as to why he is “homeless”, to judge his character or the decisions he makes now that he lives outside. I have made such assumptions about others and assaulted another’s character and when I do this they are not the only one injured, I am injured as well and the potential comradery that could have taken place is blocked by my judgment and assumptions.
Time and slow conversations allowed me to opportunity to truly get to know “John”. “John” moved to Portland years ago and married the love of his life, he started his own business that operated out of Downtown and as he says: was the most successful company of its kind in town, with all of the largest contracts. He and his wife bought a small house and began their life in Portland. A few years back his wife was diagnosed with cancer and as she grew more ill, “John’s” business began to suffer because he was needed at his wife’s side and as a result of he lost his largest business contract. “John’s “ wife passed away not long after she was diagnosed and simultaneously “John’s “ business collapsed. He did his best to pick himself back up, but I can’t imagine what that all must feel like and even as I think about it in this moment my heart breaks for my friend. John eventually lost his home and it wasn’t long until he was living outside. He never stopped working, he still has a small number of clients and makes enough to keep himself fed and meet his very basic needs.
A few months ago “john” suffered a stroke to one side of his upper body, he is slowly getting some movement in his hand back but as of right now it is not much use to him. With the use of only one hand it makes it very difficult for “John” to work, he is still working but having trouble keeping the small number of clients he has. Every Sunday, I put his beautiful long hair in a ponytail and he repeatedly thanks me, I give him cigarette and we talk about our week. He rarely complains, I do much more complaining than he does. He is teaching me so much about patience and gratefulness. I have never had to face the struggles that he has and yet he is so much more kind, generous and grateful then I have ever been.
This is our community, men and women like “John” and if we allow ourselves to be judgmental or assume anything we will miss powerful opportunities to build lasting friendships as well as to allow another and God to change us
Vivian Brocato 07/24/09 5:27 PM |
Love this story! Love you and your heart Jessica! Love ‘John’!
LeeAnn 08/12/09 2:28 AM |
beautiful.