God and I don’t have the sort of relationship like a Thomas Kinkade painting, where he is walking me through the meadow of life and I see glimpses of him everywhere, nor is it like the forth of July and the fireworks are His voice. Most of the time God has to talk to me like I am a child in a preschool class; they sit on the mat, the teacher holds up a picture of something, like a cat and the child knows what a cat is, the teacher makes consequences very clear and the child gets punished. So God knows I need to be led by the hand and He also knows that unless He makes it very clear what he is doing in my life and my community I will miss it because I am a preschooler and I get distracted.
Taking into account my assumptions about how my ordination would go down, my inability to understand what it was I was feeling leading up to the ordination and my preschool relationship with God, He couldn’t have made himself more clear. The best way to describe downtown last Sunday would be to say that my community owned my Ordination; it belonged to them and was as much my being recognized as it was their opportunity to demonstrate their oneness. In the middle of the Cop Circle more than 50 friends laid hands on me and prayed for me, men and women crying and laughing together and then all singing: “amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a retch like me”. In my preschool brain things like this don’t happen, but what I realized standing in the middle of all of that oneness and love and witnessing that can only be described as revival, is that things like this do happen. I believe that what I and all of my friends experienced so clearly is what God sees every time he look at HOMEpdx. Most Sundays I am caught up in responsibilities and holding shit together and in all of that it is very easy to miss the things that God might see or do, but something like last Sunday happens and, boom, He is there and He has weaved himself in the lives of each individual and he has weaved us together. When he looks at us every Sunday what He sees is revival and worship Last Sunday I was given a glimpse into God’s heart and the opportunity to see very clearly what he sees. I don’t think that there is a an adequate way to describe last Sunday, or any Sunday for that matter, but to say that Jesus is very real downtown and if you are looking for him in the way that you have seen him before you will miss him, but if you shut your opinions up and let him show you, you might be changed forever.
God, help me see what you see, because I suck at paying attention most of the time.
Amen,
Jessica